The Myth of Successful Men and Others Like It
It was just like that classic moment when we had to attend an event and suddenly realise, to our horror, that we have absolutely nothing to wear!
Everyone knows how women are: indecisive, emotional, ignorant, uneducated, resentful, and vengeful. They make decisions based on other people’s opinions, try to fit into imposed standards, and, of course, are so obsessed with appearances, gossip, and what others think that they hardly have time to form their own ideas.
But let’s leave that behind and move on to what really matters: men.
Women are complicated, and writing about them would be exhausting; men, conversely, are simple, brilliant, and natural problem solvers.
Hence the question:
"Why is there a Women's Day but no Men's Day?"
Where is the equality? The fairness?
It’s for reasons like these that we decided to debunk some urban myths.
Shall we begin?
The Biggest Myth of All: The “Successful Man”
Believe it or not, he doesn’t exist!
This character is a social invention, nurtured by cultural and media expectations.
However, if we were to paint a picture of this fictional being, he would have the following traits:
- Alpha male – Dominant, charismatic, and a natural leader. A superhero—but without the cape.
- Rational and logical – A problem solver and analytical thinker, as if everything in life could be fixed with a calculator.
- Professionally successful – Of course, he’s at the top of his career.
- Wealth and social status – His worth as a person is directly proportional to the luxury items he owns.
- Perfect life – Marriage, kids, and his appearance—all flawless. His life seems like a commercial.
- Provider – It’s his duty to provide for his family. A “real man” never lets his loved ones go without.
- Absolute virility – Physical strength, sexual appeal, and the stamina of an Olympic athlete. All in the name of masculinity.
- Self-sufficient – Solves everything alone because asking for help is a sign of weakness.
- Stoic – Never shows emotions, because “real men don’t cry”—and if they do, they do it with masculine dignity.
- Domestically useless – Can’t hang a shirt or fry an egg, because household chores are an unfathomable mystery.
This "successful man" is as real as the Loch Ness Monster—except that, unlike Nessie, he doesn’t live in a lake.
He lives in societies that perpetuate stereotypes.
Shall we break them down together?
Another Admirable Urban Myth: “Behind Every Great Man, There’s a Great Woman”
Oh, how sweet!
A masterpiece of patriarchal false modesty—it almost sounds like praise for women.
But, in reality, it places them in a comfortable position… in the back seat.
If the man is the pilot, the woman is the co-pilot—and, of course, responsible for packing lunch.
This myth carries a heavy load of implications, each layer soaked in the bittersweet taste of sexism disguised as gratitude:
- Subordination disguised as recognition – The woman, an essential piece in the man’s success, remains invisible on stage. She’s like a theater lighting technician—crucial, yet always in the background.
- The caregiver – While the man conquers the world, the woman takes care of the house, the laundry, and his ego. Everyone has their place, right?
- The erasure of female independence – Women’s achievements are seen as mere shadows of men’s success.
The idea that men’s greatness depends on a woman holding things together suggests that women exist solely to support men.
As if women were extras in the existential drama of men.
Oops, wait!
Men aren’t dramatic and don’t have existential crises… right?
Forgive the inaccuracy.
And Now, the Ultimate Urban Myth: "Women Have Never (and Will Never) Achieve the Same Success as Men"
Of course! Because all great inventions and historical achievements belong to men, right?
Except… that’s not true.
Let’s break down the ingredients of this myth, which suggests that women will always fall short of men’s brilliance:
- Lack of institutional recognition – For centuries, academia and major awards focused on celebrating men, completely ignoring brilliant women.
- Social and cultural barriers – "Women in science? Politics? No, dear, your place is in the kitchen!" Then, people act surprised that there aren’t more Marie Curies.
- Media invisibility – When a woman excels, the world seems to suffer from collective amnesia. Brilliant results? Sure—but nothing that a man couldn’t claim as his own!
Historically, women were kept from decision-making, universities, and even libraries and books.
Mere details?
For centuries, they fought for basic civil rights.
Some of these rights are now widely recognized, such as the right to vote, education, and equal pay.
Despite significant progress, many battles remain.
Women continue to fight against gender-based violence and harassment, which compromise their safety and well-being.
Autonomy over their own bodies and access to reproductive healthcare remains a constant struggle.
So does the fight for greater representation in leadership positions and politics.
History changes by giving women real opportunities to lead, decide, and demonstrate their strength.
Women are not just the invisible pillars that hold up societies - they are the foundation of change, not only because of their intellectual capacity but also because of their role in shaping the future of humanity.
- “Indecision” - often seen as a weakness - is a way of evaluating options.
- “Submission” can be understood as empathy and strategic wisdom.
- “Ignorance” reflects a lack of opportunities, not a lack of ability.
It’s Time to Debunk These Myths
It is crucial to deconstruct these and other myths that perpetuate falsehoods and deeply affect how men and women perceive and interact with each other.
IT’S TIME FOR CHANGE!
Women are not shadows, and men don’t need to be heroes.
The survival and progress of society depend on the respect and appreciation of every individual—for who they are, what they contribute, and the impact they have on those around them and future generations.
Shocked by this column? Don’t be.
What’s shocking is that, as time passes, it feels like people’s hearts are shrinking.
Children, by nature, have immense hearts—where everyone fits.
They do not recognize barriers or impose limits.
The real scandal is that we still need to raise our voices for equality, equity, and social justice.
Talk to us: pxp.cminho@gmail.com
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